I’m looking to understand specific affectual responses in moments of clarity or confusion (or both) when I feel like I am bumping up against something structural in a non-straightforward way. Moments that feel good and bad at the same time are particularly fruitful – ones that have some sort of pleasurable aspect but also cause intellectual or emotional distress. These feelings can seem inaccessible in combination regardless of how strongly they are felt – they stay unspeakable, unknowable, and threaten to cancel one another into nothingness. I imagine a physical gap between ideas that exist simultaneously but seem like they should negate one another – the gap holds the answer to how these things are able to live in the same world and in the same moment in time. I am attempting to fill the shapes of those gaps to the point where they can stand on their own. In outlined and potentially more vulnerable positions, I hope that these shapes can open up a way to better understand contradictory realities.